Friday Fictioneers: Commander Scoop and His Heartfelt Ambition Machine


Boy, I really pulled this one out of nowhere nice and quickly. This is strange for me, considering how slow-as-heck I usually am with this Friday Fictioneer stuff. But when I saw that horrendous Ford Edsel with those bizarre modifications, looking like a police’s corpse-shoveler (the fact that a “corpse-shoveler” exists may mean the police are kind of botching their jobs, but whatever), I knew that that car HAD to be the steel horse of a terrible superhero. I imagined that the car is eyeing up the hunk of junk to its left. Like, as soon as the story’s over, it “corpse-shovels” the wreck into even more to death. It’s the fate of all crumby superheroes, “You either die a meme or live long enough to see yourself become a petty criminal on local television news.”


Or, something like that.




Image Copyright: Jean L. Hays

Image Copyright: Jean L. Hays


Title: Commander Scoop and His Heartfelt Ambition Machine

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100


“Crime should be running scared! But wait, it can’t! Because Commander Scoop in his Custom Ford Edsel is burning rubber! He’s going to, scoop you up, and dump you in jail… Soylent Green style!”

Wait, I don’t mean that I want to eat you. I was talking about the scene with the big scoops and… ugh, nevermind.

Okay, how about…?

“Freeze, creep, my shovel of justice is going to dig your grave!”

No, let me try that again… agh. What kind of superhero doesn’t have a snappy one-liner?

“A superhero that’s still better than you criminal scum!”

Yeah sure, that’ll work.




Oh, so close to that 100-word mark! Oh well, I kind of stopped caring as much since my first brush with literary deviancy.

But wait! I reformed my ways for this one bright, shining moment! Enjoy it while it lasts because I shant be seeing that nice clean “100” ever again!


Speaking of which, yes, I am totally ignoring this year’s NaNoWriMo. Because I’m writing up a storm with Landfall and I’m about to go into my heavy editing/revising section, as per my 401 Fiction Seminar class. So that’s where all my attention is. But I do have an idea for a shorter, more minimalistic science fiction novel that may come out even before Landfall. So maaaaybe I’ll invent my OWN NaNoWriMo (with blackjack! And hookers!) in December, since I have most of that month of…

… but then I’m also writing a screenplay. Bluegh.


Anyway, how’s other people’s NaNoWriMo going, if they’re doing it?



Good luck (especially now), you brave writer folk!






8 comments on “Friday Fictioneers: Commander Scoop and His Heartfelt Ambition Machine

  1. Dear Marshal/Michael,

    Interesting take on the prompt.



  2. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Mr. Hopalop,

    Any nine of those words could have been edited with no adverse effect on your story. Might even have tightened it up a bit.



    • I cut a few of the words out of that first little “paragraph.” I have a tick for specificity in my writing, which is great for writing huge novels like I enjoy making but here it just seems to take up valuable space.

      Thanks for the feedback.

  3. I have a new found soft spot in my heart for Commander Scoop. My kinda hero! Thanks for the smile.

  4. Three cheers for Commander Scoop! He really knows how to dig in.

  5. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Marshalhopalop, Love the name and the story. You are clever and the Edsel picture didn’t scare you off – did it? You are so busy – Good job! Nan 🙂

  6. […] I was challenged on the Friday Fictioneers page to “think outside the box.” So I attempted to do so. Looks like in this case, “thinking outside the box” is just me looking at one tiny detail way in the back and expecting to make a full flash-fiction story out of it. It isn’t the worst thing ever, though. In fact, I kind of got reminded of a Friday Fictioneers from a little bit ago. Like the car being talked about in this story later on evolves into the Heartfelt Ambition Machine of Commander Scoop. […]

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