Friday Fictioneers: Nature (I’ll Stay Right Here)

 

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For those who are wondering, the title is in reference to the 1947 pop song, “Civilization.” It’s most recognizable line would probably be, “Civilization, I’ll stay right here.” So I decided to turn that line on its head, have some fun with a wonky little story and overly explain things that I could have just left up to ambiguity.

No, I’m not that cultured, I just played Fallout 3 a lot.

 

 

Have fun~

 


 

 

 

Image Copyright: Dawn Q. Landau

Image Copyright: Dawn Q. Landau

 

Title: Nature (I’ll Stay Right Here)

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

 

The leaves, the filthy earthy leaves, brush over my skin like the slow rake of a claw. The sunlight stabs me with uncountable tiny needles. Even from a picture, hideous nature reaches out for me. My sister has an unnerving taste in “vacation” spots

The AC is still humming tunelessly. A layer of cold is forming over my skin from the chill in the air. But I like it. I have a shield of civilization on me. I throw the picture down onto the envelope addressed to me and sit back, waiting for my groceries to arrive in a truck.

 

 

 


 

 

So this narrative isn’t as “activated” as I might have liked, meaning it wasn’t full of enough movement and progression of time, I still thought this was fun to write. It was fun to take something I absolutely love (ruins and nature paths) and replaced it with something I totally hate (that awful feeling of being inside with the AC breathing down your neck all day). I suppose because neurosis is always a fun topic. That and clowns whenever fire is involved.

Normality is overrated anyway.

 

 

Good luck, you brave writer folk!

 

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9 comments on “Friday Fictioneers: Nature (I’ll Stay Right Here)

  1. Margaret says:

    A great idea – to surprise us by giving the reverse of what we expect. Well told.

  2. ahtdoucette says:

    Ah, brings back wonderifically horrible memories. We were thinking of going to DC for the Cherry Blossom Festival this year and I was turning over in my head places to stay and thinking – hey, if it’s not too cold, what about camping?
    Then thinking yeah … nature can be so … icky. =D And then, you do the whole mental process – how much fun will it be and how much will they hate me for dragging them along. Hm… To camp or not to camp.
    Oh and I’ve never played Fallout but it def sounds like fun!

  3. I really like this piece. It’s so easy to write about nature’s beauty, but you’ve done the opposite, and wonderfully.

  4. Taygibay says:

    I’ll second Claire’s motion and add that it is a gooreat thing that movement was absent apart from the fan blades and truck opposing the leaves and light; that’s exactly how your ( IMHoO ) anti-hero would have it!

    Tay.

    • I never really thought of it that way- the lack of movement playing up the desire for no movement. Huh. Well, my eyes are more open now. Thanks for the great feedback!

  5. Dear Michael,

    I got a chill reading about the hotel AC. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  6. I’m not a fan of lots of AC, but at night in a hotel, we love to turn the fan/AC on so it runs all night as white noise and keeps the air cool for sleeping. You did a good job of switching points of view in your story. Give me that creepy nature all the time!

    janet

  7. i b arora says:

    we are too accustomed to the shield of civilization

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