Flash! Friday: Serpentine Ambition

 

BEGIN TRANSMISSION.

 

Quick, quick, the house is on fire!

Not really, but we don’t have a lot of time!

WordPress’s exceptionally janky comments system totally destroyed my first entry into Flash! Friday!(!) So now, I’m scrambling to piece something together to link to that actually has the proper treatment of the text that I totally wrote an hour ago spent a lot of time and thought on!

 

Have fun~

 


 

Title: Serpentine Ambition

Criteria (must use word): Farmer
Wordcount: 210

 

Cultivation of curiosity. An important marketing concept all budding captain of industry must learn. All across this great urban playground, my ordained subordinates spread the word of modern day alchemy; Pax Ambrosia, a cream so miraculous it puts God out of a job. We had considered that for the tagline until I had hatched something better.

  “Do you want to squirm below or do you want to ascend?”

Pathos, ambiguity, a direct challenge to the self. Every self-loathing baker, busboy, cab driver, and retail clerk in Chicago would answer that question the same way. And I relied on that fact.

We put that slogan everywhere for all of the desperate groundlings to see. The backs of cars, down sewer grates, carved into trees. We did everything legally within our power and then some.

Instagram exploded. Facebook almost melted down. People were setting up ladders just to read our tagline written into streetlights.

“What does it mean?” they asked each other. But to me, they answered, “yes.” Yes, they want to rise above and have that Latin godly ascension.

It was indeed harvesting time in Chicago: curiosity and of gullibility.

People should know not to trust snakes. Especially when it’s trying to sell them its oil for fifty dollars a bottle.

 

 

(In lieu of the blue frog) THE OTHER STORIES

 


 

Okay, so elaboration time. It seems as though Lillie McFerrin of Five Sentence Fiction fame… has come back from the dead.

Well good, now I look like a giant rube.

McFerrin’s domain name was about to go down in a few days and was getting locked down… until I looked on her website just now to get the URL for the backup archive. Well good, this means I can have THREE weekly flash fiction things to stress-write about.

Besides, Flash! Friday:, despite its wonky grammatical autonomy actually seems like fun. So I will continue to do it and also wrestle with the weird WordPress comment system.

 

 

Good luck, you brave writer folk!

 

END TRANSMISSION.

 

 

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