This is probably one of the most true titles I’ve ever written. If I ever write a biography (or is it autobiography? I can’t remember off the top of my head right now) I’ll be calling it the same thing. Or some really overly-long drawn-out mess like, “What Do You Mean I Can’t Use That Word In My Title? I Don’t Care if it Might be Considered Offensive, it’s an Important Part of the Overall Narrative.”
Title: I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
Conflict: Man vs Self
Character: Disgruntled Socialite
Word Count: 149
“Feeling down? Little Big Misses Spice-Me-Up Tonic has your needs covered! Are those long social dinners sapping your will to live and the life from your eyes? Well, sir and/or madam, the Tonic will pick you up before the pudding comes!
If you weren’t addicted to opium and mercury additives before, by King George you will be now!”
No, that’s terrible. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Nobody likes George anymore. Lizzie and her corgis are all the rage now.
How about this?
“Dogs or children nipping at your ankles and you just can’t find the leashes? Doesn’t matter! Fall upon them like God’s divine lightning with some Tonic in your reedy little veins!”
Whoa. Did I drink any of this crap by accident?
Doesn’t look like it. But it sure does sound good, have you read those advertisements?
How is it empty already?
I’D PUT A BLUE FRONG STAND-IN HERE BUT IT’S ALREADY THURSDAY ANYWAY.
I meant to actually put this up on Friday, believe it or not.
I really have no idea what I’m doing anymore/ever.
Good luck, you brave writer folk!