Friday Fictioneers: Access Denied

 

BEGIN TRANSMISSION.

 

It would help if I knew what day it was so I could get these done on time.

As it stands, here’s another more formless “soundless fury” that I spun to try to explain my state of mind, rather than craft a new narrative.

 

Have fun~

 


 

 

Image Copyright: Roger Bultot

Image Copyright: Roger Bultot

 

Title: Access Denied

Word Count: 100

 

Draw sword, wake the horde, batter down this door.

My hatred of slant rhymes stalls my fury. Futility picks up whatever slack left behind. This door is wood, brick, or steel, whatever I can’t break down. Eden is more of a man, a door attendant, than a garden (though he’s standing in one, smiling sagely). I cannot bribe him for he has all that he wants and I can’t ask for time before he’s locked it all away in glass.

Eden IS timeless, like all great art, existing before the first clock clicked.

The crack in the door glows golden.

 

 

 


 

 

I don’t even know how to interpret these. They’re just my head piecing together its own distaste for time slipping away from me yet again. Maybe one day, sooner than later, I can remember how to be proud of my mind just being itself again.

 

 

Good luck, you brave writer folk!

 

END TRANSMISSION.

 

 

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2 comments on “Friday Fictioneers: Access Denied

  1. elmowrites says:

    Hi Michael! I had a look and I think your lack of comments probably stems mostly from posting towards the end of the group. It’s always been my experience that I get fewer comments on FF if I post later in the week, and I guess people often read when they post and then don’t come back to look for more submissions. Not a criticism of you, since you’ll entitled to post whenever works for you, I just think it’s perhaps an explanation.
    As I’m here, I’ll critique and say your piece got me thinking about time and what all the parts of it meant. I liked the idea of Eden as a man, and the bit about him standing in a garden too. I must admit this felt more like poetry than narrative, and I’m more a narrative girl myself, but that’s not to say it’s a bad thing.

    • Hey, thanks for the feedback and for the information! I had a feeling that timing was playing a part in it but I just wanted to make doubly sure that I was using the “C” correct for the critical feedback group (plus I wanted to make sure I didn’t have to physically join an actual group and I just missed that detail somehow). Hopefully I can start getting those entries in sooner like I used to!

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